Saturday, December 15, 2012

Confession: I'm Jealous of {insert blog name here}

All right, fess up. We all get a little envious of our fellow bloggers and even IRL friends who blog. After reading this IFB article, I'm inspired to sit down and have a face-to-face interview with the ugly green monster.

What gets under my skin (even though it shouldn't) ... and how to fight that feeling:

It seems like they have an entire outfit of new pieces every single post.
Not sure if they have a lot of spare change lying around in their house-sized piggy bank, but it's all sparkly new. I almost feel weird wearing my own clothes from high school and incorporating it into outfits without everything being (c/o). It seems like I find every raved item on the blogosphere "meh" until I've seen it 70 times and then some switch in my brain turns on and suddenly I want it too. No matter how ugly or man-repelling.
← Now that I reflect on that, being sponsored up to your eyeballs is nice but at the same time it's easy to lose your sense of self. I'm glad that I still wear my old things and occasionally drop in a new piece.

→ You just started blogging 3 months ago. How do you have 1000 followers and 100k lookbook fans already!?
Ah, the annoying little Google Friend Connect widget. We all look to you for affirmation that we're doing the right thing, that people across the www are listening to us talking to ourselves, that we're likable and popular. So especially when a brand new blogger has a lot of personality and flare, we get pangs of hurt-pride pain and jealousy. Either that or they look like every other popular fashion blogger. Then comes the wave of thoughts of, "am I too short? not skinny enough? is there something weird about my face?" Look at what we're doing to ourselves, people. Some bloggers do have that signature spark - whether it's purple hair, perfectly curated blonde hair, or "that pose." That's what gives them success. That's what makes you pause as you're scrolling through your subscriptions. Most of all you can feel their passion oozing through your screen.
← Remember that feeling way back when you first started, of wanting to blog or comment every single second and put yourself out there because it's fun? When other bloggers who were more famous made you wide-eyed with wonder and inspiration instead of boiling with jealousy? The minute blogging becomes work instead of play (which is the way it feels for many of us, I'm sure) it no longer becomes fun and it becomes another task and we procrastinate and enter this spirally self-inflicted downfall. Pick yourself back up, and chug out a new outfit post, something you would actually wear!

I'm not tall, skinny, blonde, a redhead, olive-complexioned, have long perfect hair ... like those popular bloggers.
When I start marking down the physical qualities of bloggers I am envious of, it becomes a list of every known combination to man! This tells me that I choosing to see only the beauty and strengths when I look at others and only defects and insecurities when I look at myself. There is no other me on this planet, and there is no other you, so if we try to stop being everyone else but us we might unveil that signature spark.
← Be comfortable in your own skin, even if it changes. I realize that when I just started out I had reddish/brown hair and circle lenses and ultra-cute panda obsessions, but now my outfits and hair are tailored to more work-appropriate shades and lengths. Which makes me a little ho-hum boring. No one wants to aspire to look like what they already look like, eh? Part of me wonders if I lost my signature spark. I pride myself on being a style chameleon and versatile dresser (skirt as top, sweater as dress, skirt plus top equals dress) and that is one thing that never changed. That and I'm one of the blab-at-you-for-paragraphs style bloggers. There we go: wardrobe mixer and storyteller is my new brand. Take some time and figure out who you've become and how to rebrand that.

→ They're always blowing up your newsfeed with a new post every day ... and you haven't published in 5 days.
I find myself being more jealous when I'm more busy, having time to look at everyone else's new posts and not having the hour to pump one out. I always sigh and wish that I had so much time to blog, but honestly who is the one who decides to catch up on Glee instead of pounding out some photos and html? Me. Yes, it feels like med school is eating up all my time normally reserved for blogging, exploring eateries, hanging out for non-studying purposes, shopping. Then I think to PrettyShinySparkly and how darn inspiring she is, blogging all the way through med school. No pangs of envy there, pure awe.
← If you're on Facebook right now, you could be editing photos or writing your content. Make it a small inspiration photo post and cite your sources! Or compile your recent instagrams into a 1-minute collage. Voila, instant eye-catching content.

→ A $4000 designer bag? Really?
I understand that this is a save-for-life goal for a lot of ladies, but the minute someone's shoulders are decked with something that expensive, I look at my student budget and feel less able to relate to her/his personal style.
← If you like the rest of her/his style, ignore the expensive label and appreciate the outfit as a whole. Think of it as "just another quilted black purse." If you really can't relate anymore, you don't have to keep visiting!

This post killed two birds with one stone - some cathartic self-reflection and pumping out content when I thought it was going to be another week before I "had time to blog." I'd love to hear your thoughts about this! Meanwhile there are three muscle/bone block finals standing between me and winter break. Happy Holidays!

Photo credit:

Readers, are you jealous/envious of your fellow bloggers sometimes? 


Exuvalia December 15, 2012 at 1:21 PM   said...

I feel the same way when it comes to the entire outfit of 'new pieces'. I don't understand how they can afford it - I definitely can't (with the allowance I get as a student).

Wish I were in their shoes.

Megan December 15, 2012 at 1:21 PM   said...

And I thought I was the only one who had these feelings! I can totally agree with the "brand new fashion blogger and 1,000 followers already" feeling. I don't even know how that happens!

Sarah Lewis December 15, 2012 at 3:10 PM   said...

I admire you for writing such a post, it reflects what I can't stop thinking whenever I go visit the blogs I follow (and I follow A LOT of blogs, and famous (rich) bloggers) ! Of course I admire them and envy them (I'm only human after all), and I wish I could be in their shoes (and outfits!) but it's hard as I am a student and working part time,as well and blogging as well as I can...

I am a new follower :)


Enter the ZALANDO GIVEAWAY on my blog

Amber @ December 15, 2012 at 4:54 PM   said...

yeah, i used to get those feelings more frequently. but i really dont care much anymore, not sure what happened! i read the blogs i enjoy, and realize that people are at different points in their life. and the new bloggers getting tons of followers are likely going on to ifb and doing the "i'll follow you if you follow me" thing.

Oreleona December 15, 2012 at 5:06 PM   said...

angie!! u hit the nail on the head!! i cant say how much i love this post! i've been in a blogger rut lately dealing with point 2 and sometimes i feel like its unfair when those who just started get so many followers and comments at a time on a blogpost~~ but then i realized that those people at least some of them, when u visit their page and u actually read the comments the people who comment are usually advertising their own blogs and making comments when they dont read the post. i'd honestly rather have one reader who reads my long posts than a 1000 readers who just comment and say follow me ill follow u or advertise their blog on my post

phiphis blog December 16, 2012 at 12:51 PM   said...

i think so many of us can relate to this! thank you for this post!

Franziska December 16, 2012 at 1:37 PM   said...

Thanks for writing this. I feel this way about most things and I just have to remind myself that everyone has their own things going on. I'm happy that people care enough to check out my blog once in a while. For now we are all doing it for fun - the interaction, the working with our closet pieces, and maybe a little money here and there.

And of course it's not like there aren't people (read: me) who are jealous of the things you are doing right now. You are also the only med school blogger I can even follow right now - the rest of them make my heart ache for my own life and the constant #medschool twitter tags and bragging got old. I'm glad we get to watch you through your journey without you being obnoxious. I don't know if that makes sense...

Trina Mock December 16, 2012 at 8:40 PM   said...

Thank you so much! I wear old things all the time and sometimes I wonder if that's taboo in the blogging world. You made a lot of other good points too, so thanks again!

Jess December 16, 2012 at 10:31 PM   said...

Great reflective blog post! :)

I am lazy about blogging so sometimes I'll post more and other times I'll be silent for a while. I love Instagram though and it's my favorite way to keep in touch. There's definitely a lot of great content that my favorite bloggers churn out but too little time to read them all.



Anonymous December 16, 2012 at 10:52 PM   said...

If I was completely honest, I'm turned off completely by the blogs where they only wear clothes that I could never possibly afford. I like (and visit far more frequently) your blog for just that reason. You seem more real. I see the same pieces in your wardrobe used multiple times (just like I do). You shop at stores that normal people can afford (just like me). And you STILL manage to look cute and stylish (unlike me). I totally understand the jealousy, but stay yourself! You have a following! Don't change!

Natasha December 18, 2012 at 7:11 AM   said...

It's like you are reading my mind!

I see these successful blogs and simply wonder - how? Perhaps it is more to do with the fact that I see blogging as a hobby, not a business. I suppose for most 'famous' bloggers it is the opposite?

I've been following more "everyday" bloggers these days. Real people with real lives and real budgets. Most definitely adding you to that follow list.


erica marie December 19, 2012 at 12:33 AM   said...

great post, it's great to be reminded to stay true to ourselves.

xo erica

lisacng December 20, 2012 at 10:58 AM   said...

LOL, man-repelling! Anyways, I appreciate your honesty - what you are jealous of - but also your self realizations that blogging is about yourself, no comparisons needed! And that you need to find the positive in yourself instead of just the negative. This post relates not only to fashion blogging, but blogging and life in general! Thanks for the post! And to answer your question, of course I envy other bloggers - They post ugly photos and still have 10000 followers? They are funny as heck but I don't want to change who I am just to be as popular as them. But then I know that I blog because I want to, love to. I love my little community and I'd rather have a relationship with 20 of them than no relationship with 200. You're doing great, Ms. Angie Pandaphilia! Oh, and remember that just because a GFC shows 10000 followers, doesn't mean that 10000 people are reading their blog. I don't even pay attention to those oftentimes inflated numbers due to requirements for entering sponsored giveaways :).

Pins, Needles & Fashion December 21, 2012 at 10:17 AM   said...

I feel the same when it comes to posting more often, I'm lucky if I get in one a week! Plus one of the reasons I blog is I love showing pieces from Forever 21 (or stores that most people shop at) and how to style them. I think most bloggers are the same, its more real. You just have to focus on your blog and how you love it, on your own terms. Never lose who you are, its what makes your blog unique :)

Unknown December 21, 2012 at 6:38 PM   said...

Omg this must be one of the most honest posts I have read. I am applying to medical school and currently doing research, so you made me so much better because you are blogging while in medical school :) I am totally following you.


Unknown December 22, 2012 at 11:07 AM   said...

Omg! Can I say, I'm envious of your blog! What an amazing writer you are! Yes girl, every time I look at that annoying Ggogle widget it makes me feel like a failure, still haven't made it past the 5@ mark, lol, oh well, I don't feel too badly when I see how many hits I've gotten for only blogging a few months!
I love what you said about not making it work, and posting about something that we would actually wear, so many times we get caught up in what is different and what we should be posting, that the posts lack authenticity.

I also have a serious girl crush on blog, she is like a blogging machine and still manages to make her posts real.

I have a lot to learn and I thank you for this post.


Angie - December 23, 2012 at 2:47 PM   said...

Don't have anything to add, you wanted to say well put and I can totally relate!

Lily Fang December 24, 2012 at 2:02 PM   said...

Oh my gosh. This was perfect--you captured exactly how so many bloggers feel. Thank you so much for this!

Anonymous December 25, 2012 at 10:16 AM   said...

I'm a jealous reader. I love looking at luxe items of apparrels, accessories, make up, and skincare. I always ask, when can it be me. Thanks for your honest article.

Charlotte's Frame December 27, 2012 at 5:05 AM   said...

This is quite true! I am quite envy of those new bloggers with 2K+ followers!
And then I look at my small blog which is 1,5 years old and currently has
36 followers with a handful of lovely commenter's, can't help but to
think about it then!
For me, I would never buy a 4K handbag, I'm too down to earth for it,
it's just ridiculous that amount of money for a bag!
I could buy a whole lot of motorcycles for it, or a nice car,
or give it to charity etc.. etc.. It's not worth spending on a bag.
I think today it's quite easy to become very materialistic,
and perhaps those bloggers we are envy of feel the need to
have something new everytime.
We can say, I still love my old pieces and I'm fine with that.
And that is worth something to!
Blogging should be fun, and about meeting new people,
learning things and viewings things from another perspective!

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