Arden B mint knit long open cardigan // H&M polka dot blouse // H&M black shorts (old) //
Black sweater tights (old) // Mossimo suede black ankle boots //
Forever 21 gold and silver spike bracelets // Michael Todd vampy wine red lipstain in Disco //
Photography: self, tripod and remote
MOONCAKE AND SUNBEAMS. Heyyyy dudettes and dudes! Long time no see, so let me catch you up to speed. First a few words about today's outfit: wanted to streamline from the waist down so I layered on the black pieces to maintain fall weather and class appropriate (biggest pet peeve: seeing your leggings butt uncovered and hanging out). Threw on a lightweight cardigan sweater in the fresh minty green favourite to add colour (on sale for $7 during Fashion Night Out, and polka dot blouse was free from H&M during the grand opening spree). Thanks goodness because it was hardly fall today and back to sizzling summer temps - the whole black bottoms deal attracted heat like a magnifying glass laser beam to ants. The leaves are changing! My favourite, favourite time of year especially in the Great Lakes Region. Bit the bullet and reordered these favourite spike bracelets from F21 because I have been missing them ever since I lost them with my purse in May. So many faves - they all get a gold star.
These past 2 weeks have been intro immunology block, and long time readers will recall a familiar shi
We all have skeletons and it helps to just let loose and spill all the crap that's been piling mile-high on my chest. I find myself bottling up a lot more inside, not being able to reach out for support around me. Maybe it's the new environment, being apart from my long-time close friends, or a fear of a dog-eat-dog world. So, here we go back to the roots of what Pandaphilia is about - to get away from the nasty sides of reality and divulge in happy things. The truth is, I still grieve every day about my Mom and it hurts to hear classmates throw around jokes about death and cancer and comas and not be able to confront them even though I hint, responding with a serious "that's not funny." I feel like there's this huge barrier to sharing because how can I trust this kind of insensitivity when I'm vulnerable, when I'm sitting in lectures about cancer and what families have to go through and hear snide comments about how this is a waste of class time. It pains me to hear how much some people don't appreciate their parents. A lot of these things I am not strong enough to say directly out loud, and I know that people don't intentionally want to hurt me, but with their nonchalant attitudes and frivolity, it stings and it stings a lot. Recently, my family is going through another loss and it's difficult to even know what to think or feel. Every day I wake up and put on my brave face and go out into the world, but I hope that if you read this, you can grasp what I'm going through a little better and let me feel safer opening up to you.
And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
[ ... and I will try to fix you ]
- Coldplay, "Fix You"