Monday, December 28, 2009

Twilight Beauty Makeup: Hyped-Up Coverup

As a college student with no income and no wealth of inheritance to splurge with, I am a very anti-expensive-makeup person. I don't see any reason in breaking the wallet buying $30 lipsticks and $50 foundation. Why spend that much money when affordable makeup, be it eyelipsface on the lowest end of the scale to drugstore brands at $5-$10 a pop, does the job well or even better than MAC and Sephora brands?

Then I came across the Twilight makeup line and I immediately face-palmed. I can't believe that they would even monopolize makeup with their cheap (yet horridly overpriced), gaudy products. I'll admit the first book was a good read in that it was new and romantic after getting over the fact that the lead male character GLITTERS. However, each subsequent book in the series became steadily the crowd-pleasers and it was just that - written to please millions of screaming, teenage girls and their fantasies (and their moms' too ... and occasionally grandmothers' *shudder*). Add to it a matching series of no-coherent-plot-or-point movies and you've got a multi-billion industry.

- The culprit: twilightbeauty.com
- The evidence: Hyped up, overpriced makeup products that make no sense
- The alibi: "The goal for Twilight Beauty was to create two beautiful and striking lines that women could fall in love with, much in the same way they fell in love with the Twilight saga. The hope is that, beyond the lure of its edgy, sophisticated packaging, true makeup consumers will find they have discovered products they can’t live without."
(They said it themselves! They're living off the popularity and media hype, replacing good quality with beautiful packaging!) You can read more about their beautiful fabrication of words here (Warning for those with a weak-stomach: it screams "bowl of sugar" and is quite gag-inducing)

There are two lines: Luna Twilight and Volturi Twilight. The former represents Edward and Bella's terribly original love story and the latter, the beautiful disaster that is the powerful ancient aristocracy of Vampire Land.

Now let's take a look at their actual products (all with gaudy colours and equally gaudy names):

On the Luna Twilight side, we have Gleam Metallic Mascara in black, blue, and silver (oops, my bad - it's Rapture, Lapiz, and Mist - see my point?). The How to Use Tips and More Info (currently blank) are not very helpful either. So, a simple mascara that doesn't claim to neither clump nor flake goes for $22. The Moonshadows Eyeshadow contains a small amount of cream shadow and powder shadow in smokey shades to warm neutral taupes. Sounds like a good deal for a buck, but one little package costs $20. Absurd.

The packaging for the Femme Fatale Lip Gloss is adorable but the $20 label is not. Surrender is a nice watermelon shade (shown below), but the others are all super sparkly. Just Bitten Staining Balm also sounds amazing to the ears but when you click to see the product, it's just your average run-of-the-mill lipstick. Twilight Venom looks like fake blood they use in theatre but costs four times as much.


Mortal Glowing Blushing Creme looks beautiful at least. Here's Adrenaline, a mosaic type of blush. I never understood why makeup sometimes comes like that - with 5 million colours but when you blend it all together, it just comes out as one shade. Bronzers are like that often as well. The Color Palettes are pretty offensive, as each one is supposed to represent on of the Twilight female characters. Alice's is shown below and it would make her look like a drag queen. Since she's my favourite, this $28 2 lip color, 2 eyeshadow, blush combination fails miserably in its mission.

Ever since the Nov 2009 issue of Lucky magazine featured the First Light Body Glow, it's been sold out. To think that girls would pay $34 to shimmer gracefully like Edward is mind boggling. What really confuses me is, why would you pay $10 more for body glow when the face glow is the exact same shimmer? Even if you're one of those crazy die-hard fans, I don't suppose you would cover your entire body in glitter every day and look incredibly hilarious. Go easy on the sparkling bedazzling and just cover the exposed arms and face if you must.

I have discovered that the Shea Cashmere lotions by Bath and Body Works has a nice very fine shimmer to it. I personally have the Hand Lotion ($12 for 2.5 fl oz), which is a nice light but skin-softening moisturizer that healed my winter-damaged skin, but B&BW also has 8 fl oz Body Lotion for $16.50 (HALF the price of the Twilight gunk!). Good alternative, eh?

Now, to the Volturi Twilight zone. What really confuses me is the same exact mascara renamed Crown Metallic Mascara and given a different packaging sells for $16 compared to its counterpart's $22 Gleam Metallic Mascara. What? It's the same bloody mascara!


The Labyrinth Loose Eyeshadows seem almost worth the $9 they cost because swatches look heavily pigmented and metallic. A little may go a long way with these loose powders.

Enrapture Lip Gloss in Arsenic (aka black) claims to go on clear (!?) and leave a trace of golden shimmer. That's pretty ridiculous. Equally ridiculous is the Obsess shade (aka hot flamingo pink). Immortal Liquid Body Shimmer are of the same shades, but I don't recommend spending the $19 to test if the black shade really does go on clear.

The gift sets give a $12 discount (total $40) for the Bella Beauty Set, and include unique products not sold separately in its counterpart line for the Volturi Gift Set (total $28). I recommend getting your "Twi-fan" best friend the Volturi version as a gift. If it has Twilight written somewhere on the box, she's bound to love it and run down the street in glee, right?

If you're really intent on buying these products or flushing good money down the drain, Twilight Beauty makeup is available online and at Nordstrom department stores. When you're satisfied with your haul, go to Youtube to find every vlogger in the world doing a makeup tutorial inspired by Twilight. That way, you can look livid and undead, like Dakota Fanning.

Drop a comment if you've tried any of these products! I want to hear real feedback from any brave beauty product addicts or Twilight die-hards. If you want to rant or rave, do so below : )

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